The Black Hole That Is My Purse

Every woman knows that the bigger the bag you carry, the more shit that ends up in your purse. It's just some natural law of womanhood, or something like that. And if you're a mom, you end up carry EVERYTHING. And I mean everything, because somehow my husband also thinks that my purse is a space for me to carry his wallet, phone and keys. (Note to self: keep working on that macho man bag design.) Ironically, he doesn't like looking for anything in my purse and just calls it "The Black Hole."

When the kids were babies and we'd go out, I'd try to be efficient and carry essentials in my purse (diaper, wipes, and maybe an extra onesie), while leaving the full diaper bag in the car. Now that the kids are older, I don't have to carry those things, which you'd think would make way for me to finally have a grown-up purse. Nope.

Here's what I found today:

By the way, when I took a closer look, the socks aren't even matching. I'm not even sure they're clean. I also have no idea why they're in my purse. My older boys are 10 and 7 so I guess the fact that I have Minecraft figurines and a plastic gun are pretty obvi. I can guarantee the boys have no idea these guys are in my purse. I actually enjoy finding little things like this or Hot Wheels in my purse. They come in handy when we're at a restaurant and one of them says, "I'm bored. Can I play with something?" Voila! Mom becomes a magician! The Babybel cheese wrapper is questionable, but I know that's Kea's - he's been on cheese benders lately. And the Goose Island beer cap...I have 3 boys, so duh.

I suppose I should probably work on carrying standards like tissue, band-aids and hand sanitizer. But who said these weren't essentials? Like I said, someone might want something to play with, or their feet might get cold, or they can mold something with the Babybel wax. See, I'm totally prepared.